I'm Sorry
by NikkitaTheMetahuman
Summary: Takes place during The Search. Azula runs off into Forgetful Valley and is found by a strange woman who agrees to take her in for as long as she needs and keep her hidden. But all is not as it seems. Unbeknownst to her, Azula will be forced into facing a dark past that she has kept secret from her own family and truths both shocking and unspeakable will be revealed.
1. Chapter 1

Shut up." Azula said to her brother with closed eyes, attempting to hold back tears. But after what Zuko had said, it became hard for her to stay calm.

 _"Azula, our relationship is so_ _ **messed up**_ _. It's been like that as long as I can remember. And maybe it'll be like that for the rest of our lives. But one fact never changes. No matter what, you're still my_ _ **sister**_ _."_

 ** _"SHUT UP!"_** Azula shouted, no longer able to contain her rage and disbelief at the obvious lie Zuko had told her. She shot a fire blast at him and dropped the letter revealing Zuko's true heritage. Unable to take in all the lies, Azula sprinted as Zuko ran to the floor to save it from her flames. She became more desperate when she heard her brother's voice call her name " **AZULA**!"

She didn't stop running. She couldn't. It was all just a trick. Every word her brother said was a trick to stop her in her tracks so he could lock her up back in the nuthouse. She would not let that happen! No matter what lies came out of his mouth " **Come back**! Come back! Please! I can help you ! I **want** to help you!"

That last one did it. Azula opened her tearful eyes and stopped to turn back around and face her brother. She also saw that their- NO!- Zuko's mother, not her mother, NEVER her mother- in her fake body had followed him. No! That woman will never be her mother! She had never had a mother and never will! She didn't bother to hide the fact that she was crying "Same as always Zuzu" She said as slowly as possible in an attempt to remain powerful and intimidating despite her throat blocking up and a tear rolling down her cheek "Even when you're strong, you're weak."

"Azula!" came the sound of her brother's voice as she continued running into Forgetful Valley. Then, she heard nothing and figured he gave up on calling her back, just as she suspected; he didn't really care about her. He was just trying to get her to stop as a distraction so then he, the Avatar and his snow peasant girlfriend and her ignorant brother could capacitate her and take her back to the asylum for good and she would not let that happen. Not again.

* * *

Azula had been running through Forgetful Valley for a while now. She didn't know for how long, but she was tiring and she had been trained to run for long periods of time as a child. She had to stop. But only for a few moments in case Zuko and his friends were somewhere in the Valley right now looking for her and despite being a prodigy, Azula knew when she was outmatched though would never admit it. She saw a cave straight ahead; a good enough shelter for her tonight in case of rain and also the current wind blowing. She observed the area around her to ensure it was safe for now, then ran into the cave. She sat down pressing her back against the wall. She shuddered as a strong wind began to blow. A fire was a tempting thought, but Azula couldn't risk exposing her whereabouts, so she instead brought her legs up to her chest for any amount of warmth she could get.

The cold wind continued through the night and it was getting harder for Azula to ignore the cold almost numb feeling in both her hands, but she knew if she moved her arms, the little warmth she had contained in her chest and side areas would vanish.

-SNAP-

Azula's head shot up and her eyes widened. 10 feet from the cave's entrance was a hunched hooded figure with a fireball in their palm. It could be Zuko searching for her. She did her best to remain hidden in the darkness and she quietly tried to scooch further into the back of the cave. The figure's fire then went out and they turned to face the cave.

 _"It can't be Zuko."_ Azula thought in her head. Firebenders could light a ball of fire in their hand and the more skilled in the art they were, the longer the flame could resist going out in wind as strong as the current wind blowing on her hands and face. The figure came into the cave and took out a pair of spark rocks to reignite what Azula could now see was a metal torch. The spark rocks finally conjured a flame upon the coals in the torch. The figure then stopped trying and the front of the hood turned to face Azula.

She had been seen. She panicked as the figure approached her, but she didn't move hoping as she felt frozen everywhere. They stood in front of her and removed their hood to reveal an elderly woman with a small wrinkly face and grey eyes almost covered by the strands of her long light grey hair.

"Hello? Are you okay?" the woman asked.

Azula stood up still shivering and inched closer to the torch the woman was holding. She couldn't answer as her body was a slave to the small fire in the metal torch and the warm sensation was starting to re-enter the princess' hands.

"Why are you out here?" the woman asked. Azula didn't want to associate with this woman as she might recognise her and turn her in. Though if she remained quiet, she would persist with asking questions until Azula responded. So, she answered "I'm hiding."

She winced a little as she didn't enjoy admitting that she was hiding.

"How long have you been hiding?" the woman asked bringing the torch closer to Azula so she could warm up.

"Only for tonight... why?" She said fearing she may have to run off again and with the weather not on her side, she could fall ill with a cold and she could not afford to be sick while on the run.

"It's a good thing I found you then. Many people become lost in this forest forever. I've aided some people who have entered and become lost and they were almost feral." She raised the torch to Azula's face and appeared to be examining her. "Are you certain you've been out here for tonight?"

"Yes! I'm certain!" Azula snapped. She wanted to firebend at the old woman, but she was still shivering. As she was rubbing her arms, the woman handed her the torch while she reached into a supply bag over her bag and pulled out another cloak. She placed around Azula while say "Perhaps I could help you if you're hiding from someone. I have a hut in this forest with a spare bed that you could sleep in. I promise no one will find you if you stay in it."

Azula gave the torch back. She supposed a hut with a bed and food was exceedingly better than a cave. Although, there was something about the woman that rubbed her the wrong way. She was almost too nice and it seemed too extraordinary that a person who helps people in this forest almost magically appears before her. Something just didn't feel right.

But then the wind blew again and Azula couldn't take it and supposed as long as she was on guard at all times, she could tolerate a hut. She nodded "Very well then."

The two then exited the cave. The elderly woman put her hood up again. Azula did the same to keep her head warm. If only Azula had listened to her instincts as the old woman thought to herself with a sadistic smile growing on the hidden face _"If only you had kept running **Princess Azula**."_


	2. Chapter 2

****As you've probably noticed, the rating of this fanfic kept changing. I was trying to figure out if I could do this story without the disturbing ideas I had in mind. But the story would be less thrilling without them, so the story from this point is M Rated.****

 ** **Enjoy! …. and if you can't handle the scary parts or not old enough for M-Rated fanfics,****

 ** **STOP. READING. THIS. FANFICTION.****

 ** **You have been warned.****

* * *

Growing up, Azula had been born a Fire Nation Princess. She knew from a young age that she had great power in her mind, body and soul. She was a firebending prodigy, adored by all of her nation and seen as an indestructible being that had accomplished so much in her young life. At age three, she produced her first flame while somehow knowing what stance and breathing force to use so the flame wouldn't go out or burn her fragile baby skin. At age five, she became the youngest attendee of the Royal Fire Academy for Girls due to her intellectual mind and firebending abilities. At age seven, she had mastered all her classes at the Royal Fire Academy for Girls so quickly, her father insisted she graduate early and begin to learn firebending the way adults do; through scrolls, textbooks and tutors at home. At age twelve, she mastered lightning generation and shortly after her thirteenth birthday, her fire turned from common orange to deadly blue. Her last accomplishment was infiltrating and conquering Ba Sing Se from the inside at age fourteen armed with only her friends Mai and Ty Lee and her master manipulative mind to convince Zuko to join her against the Avatar and the Dai Li to bring down the walls of their great city and securing the Fire Nation's victory of the Hundred Year War.

The cold harsh wind brought Azula out of her happy memories as she remembered she was now like a fallen phoenix; someone who had it all, until she was made weak and vulnerable by Mai and Ty Lee's betrayal at the Boiling Rock, abandoned by her father in a plan she had thought of to destroy the Earth Kingdom's final hope, and being defeated in the Agni Kai by her incompetent brother who cheated as somehow, the Avatar's peasant girlfriend had managed to encase the two them in ice and then chain her to a grate long enough for her to be sedated and locked away in an asylum for over a year...

 _ _"with__ _ ** _her there to torment me around the clock_**_ _ _."__

And when she was finally out of the asylum and came close to her goal of killing Ursa, close as in one flaming fire ball inches away from her face, Azula hesitated and ran away and was now trusting a strange elderly woman who had found her moments ago shivering in a cave and on the brink of crying. Azula wondered how she was going to reclaim her birth right now that Zuko had the letter back. Or if she even could take back her power after seeing the way Zuko was full of certainty as he put on his Firelord headpiece on in front of her and declared the throne was his destiny, but her three main priorities at the moment were staying as warm as possible, refusing to let the wind take the spare cloak she was given and keeping up with the old woman who was somehow quicker than herself despite the obvious old age. Azula realised that neither one of them had asked for each other's names, but they could do that once they reached the hut they were heading too.

The walk was quiet with the exception of the howling wind which was blowing the opposite way Azula and the elderly woman were heading, so it was blowing right in their faces. The wind became so powerful that their hoods kept blowing off their heads and at some point, the woman had abandoned the only light they had in the dark night as the metal torch's flame went out again and it was weighing her down and then after the wind began to force her to step back, she grabbed Azula's upper arm to keep herself from falling back. Azula didn't like her or anyone grabbing her without her consent, but she didn't want to be out in the open for too long as Zuko and his misfits for friends could be looking for her, despite the intense weather conditions. So the sooner they got to the hut, the sooner the woman would release her surprisingly tough grip on her arm.

Azula began to stumble and grew more tired with each step she took. Finally, she collapsed to her knees forcing the two of them to stop. Azula heard the old woman grunt at this, but the cold had made her feel so numb, it was as if she had no bones or blood inside her to keep her moving.

"Come on, we're not too far now!" the woman said clearly frustrated at this incompetence, though it was hard to hear her voice from the wind. Azula did the only movement she could and looked up to meet the woman's face. Behind her head, Azula saw leaves blowing in the wind and a not quite so full moon.

Azula then glared at the sight of the moon. She had always hated it from when she was a child as whenever there was a full moon out, she noticed her firebending was at its weakest, making it almost impossible to practise her forms or to even go to sleep at night due to the chill she felt in her bedroom. Then, a surge of energy seemed to come out of nowhere and it willed her to stand up and keep moving with the woman still holding her arm tightly. Azula felt it strange as it didn't feel like she was moving. Then again, she was incredibly numb and if whatever this was got her to continue walking, she decided to not question it and just go with it.

* * *

After what seemed like forever, they came to a house that Azula assumed was the "hut" the old woman was talking about. It was surprisingly bigger than Azula had imagined. The outside walls appeared to be dark grey stones, the roof was covered with tree leaves and straw, and at the front was a wooden door with an almost opaque glass window on the right. Azula thought the hut's size would resemble Lo and Li's house on Ember Island, but it more resembled...

 _ _"Mother's new home."__ Azula thought in her head, then quickly changed it after realising what she had just thought __"NO! Ursa's new home."__ Azula then felt her energy boost from before vanish without a trace as the woman released her arm just as they reached the door, as if it had never been there. She opened it and Azula paused when she heard a voice she didn't want to hear and saw a face in the house window she didn't want to see.

 ** **"Turn around Azula. You don't know what you're doing."**** said an apparition of Ursa that appeared in the window. Normally, Azula would talk to the voice in her head until Ursa disappeared, but she couldn't risk the elderly woman catch her talking to herself as she was probably already feeling something was off about Azula and she was too cold to respond back. So, Azula instead just looked away and tried to ignore the hallucination by covering her ears fully with her hands while her body shivered. As she walked into the house, she looked again at the window, but Ursa was once again gone.

* * *

The door shut and Azula removed the hooded cloak, placing it on a rod near the door. She then looked around the inside of the house; it appeared to be one whole room with indigo curtains sectioning off two separate rooms. One on the far right was a smidge open and the foot of a bed could be made out. Azula saw in the room she was in had a light yellow sofa in front of a light grey stone fireplace, a kitchen area between her and the bedroom on the right and in the centre was a table for eating with four chairs. Strange... considering most people in Hira'a had shorter tables and sat on cushions to dine at and not many had purple curtains, but rather dark red or pink. At this point though, Azula was focusing more getting a warm feeling back into her body. She looked to see the old woman was in the kitchen and then heading to the table with a bowl with steam coming out of it. Azula could smell it from where she stood; it was tomato-carrot soup. Her favourite.

"Come sit down." the woman said while placing the bowl on the table and pulling out a chair before walking into the bedroom facing the front door and disappearing behind the curtain. Azula then clutched her stomach as it gave a low growl that sounded like an owl kitten honing its hunting skills. She sat down at the table and gazed at the soup below her face. The warm steam slowly rising up to meet her porcelain white, doll-like skin, the smell unearthing long-forgotten memories of when she was sick as a child and tomato-carrot soup being all she wanted to eat and drink until she was feeling better because nothing else had taste while she was sick.

But Azula did not smile even a little at remembering this. She felt a single tear come down from her right eye and pressed the back of her hand on it to see the tear. It brought with it the hurtful recalling that she could never go back to the Fire Nation or her home ever again unless she wanted to go back to the asylum or worse; a Fire Nation Prison such as the Boiling Rock for the remainder of her life. So, she wiped the tear off on her pants and grabbed the chopsticks at the side of the bowl and began to eat, not bothering to savour every tasteful bite in her mouth.

While eating, Azula looked around the house to distract her from her memories. She saw beige wall tiling, pictures frames hanging on the wall, mostly of plants and shells. No personal photos of family or friends. " _ _Perhaps they were in one of the bedrooms"__ Azula thought. She turned her head left and saw, on the floor next to a brown cupboard, a trap door that probably lead to a basement.

Azula then finished the soup and placed the chopsticks down by the empty bowl. She pondered on what her next move was. She couldn't stay here for very long; if Zuko was searching for her to take her back to the asylum, he or the Avatar and friends would eventually discover this house and her identity would be exposed to the old woman who had found her by luck tonight. The howling of the wind outside was beginning to sound like a broken train whistle, indicating that for tonight, she was stuck in here. At least there was a bed for her to sleep in tonight. That was better than the floor of a cave where the only blanket were the clothes on your back and your arms and legs clenched tightly around your body.

As Azula was trying to work out how long she could stay here before curiosity got to the old cat she was staying with, she saw her finally come out of the bedroom. She had taken the cloak off and had it in her arms along with a white material on top of it. Azula could see the woman was wearing Fire Nation rags with light grey baggy sleeves, a purple shall over her shoulders and a darker purple dress with a black apron with red flames along its bottom corners tied around her waist. When Azula looked up, she could see her face more clearly and saw a small fire nation headpiece in the centre of the big circular bun on top of her head.

She held out the white material and Azula saw it was a night dress "Here's something you can wear, I've altered it so it should fit you."

Azula stood up and tucked in her chair before heading to the woman and carefully taking the night dress. Its material was soft and it appeared to be her size.

"Thank you." Azula said looking more at her make-do pyjamas rather than the woman's eyes. Surprisingly, the woman didn't seem to mind Azula not wanting to make eye contact with her. Perhaps previous tenants lost in Forgetful Valley had been this way and she had grown accustomed to this reluctant behaviour. As Azula walked into the bedroom she'd be sleeping in, the woman took her plate and chopsticks from the table to the kitchen and then proceeded to have soup for herself.

* * *

Azula shut the curtain and saw, right in front of her, a cosy bed with a big duvet folded back to the bottom of the bed that was fully coloured royal red and a decorative patchwork blanket was sprawled over the pillow area. On the left side of the bed was a bed side table with a single lit candle being the only source of light in the room. On Azula's left from where she stood was a chair she could put her current attire on. She put the night dress on the bed and took off her clothes and boots and placed them on the chair. She then pulled the night dress over her head and arms before taking out the ribbon keeping her hair in its perfect top knot.

As her hair came down and she smoothed over it with her hands, a knock came from behind the curtain and then a voice asked "Can I enter" came the old woman's voice.

Azula answered with a quiet "Okay" even though she just wanted to go to sleep and forget for just tonight what had happened regarding her mother and dum dum brother. The woman entered as Azula put the ribbon from her hair on to her folded clothes.

"Come on, I'll tuck you in." she said going over to the left side of the bed. Azula felt this wasn't normal or necessary as she had been tucking herself in bed since she decided at age 7, she didn't need to be tucked in bed. Especially since it was apparent that their mother didn't want to tuck her in or read her a story as she preferred to stay with Zuko and read him the story of the Ugly Turtle-Duckling. Sometimes, Azula would hear her mother's voice while she was trying to sleep and would sneak out of bed to listen to her mother and brother while she hid and silently cried. Then, when Ursa was done, Azula would race back to her bed and feign being asleep and Ursa didn't bother to come over to her to check. She just took one glance and left for her bedroom.

With more memories that were bringing pain to her mind, Azula nodded slowly to the old woman and got into the bed. As she lied down on her left as she always did, she felt the snug fabric of the blanket cradling her face, but her expression remained blank and full of sorrow. The woman then brought the half on the blanket that was behind Azula's head over the princess' head. She then walked to the other side and pulled the other half diagonally downwards so it would cover her top half, making Azula looked like a new-born baby wrapped in a blanket. Finally, the woman pulled the duvet at the bottom of the bed over Azula's body. Azula felt a sense of warmth returning to her as the woman blew out the candle and left the room. Azula then felt a sense of safety as she fell asleep.

* * *

The elderly woman continued to watch her guest and as soon as she was sure Princess Azula of the Fire Nation was sound asleep, her smile went from sweet to sinister as she closed the curtain.

A noise came from below the house. She knew exactly what it was.

Or more __who__ it was...

She took a key from a pocket hidden behind her apron and unlocked the door that led to the basement. The noise came again and the woman entered quickly so she could shut the door behind her. After all, she couldn't risk waking up the princess. She grabbed a torch that was fuelled not by fire and coal, but simply by rocks that were luminous in pure darkness. She descended down the stair until she reached a large spacious room filled with nothing but black. There were torches across the rooms walls, but they had covers so that the only light in the room was from the torch the woman was holding. She continued walking straight ahead to the noise that was a muffled scream that continued as she got closer to the cell hidden in all the darkness.

She took a rock from her torch and lightly tossed it in between the bars on a cell to see her prisoner; he was, when they first met five months ago, a healthy, muscular man who went into Forgetful Valley. But not to forget who he was, he wanted to make a map of the forest and then sell them. But he had gotten lost and was then found by her. He stayed in the guest room one night before she trapped him in her basement using a technique he still didn't quite grasp despite experiencing it everyday for five months. Now, he was skinny to the point where his bones could be seen in his arms and chest area, his clothes were torn, his eyes were wide open with terror and almost bloodshot, there was over there were burn marks and whip marks on his back and he continued his screams despite being muzzled and all four of his limbs were chained to the walls and floor in a position where he couldn't inflict pain on himself. No, only she could do the hurting... and what she was about to do...

"Astonishing." She began with in a unsettling calm tone to the man who was now breathing rapidly. "I could hear you from upstairs. You must really be scared. Not that I blame you."

The man tried backing away as far as his restraints would let him go as the woman examined her right hand while mockingly flexing her fingers "My new prisoner could've heard you and ran off. But luckily, she's asleep and even better, my special technique works almost perfectly without the full moon to aid me... all thanks to the five months of practise I've had with you."

As she flexed her fingers slowly into a fist and lifted her arm, the man in the cell seemed to unwillingly rise up from his cowering position and his screams ceased as he felt what she was doing to do his neck area. The woman looked in his eyes and saw that he knew what she was going to do to him.

"Soon, she'll be occupying this cell and endure the pain she so deserves." The woman said to herself. Then she looked dead in the man's eyes "Such a pity you won't anymore." She said before making a quick slashing movement with her arm.

 _ ** _ **SNAP!**_**_

She released her grip on the blood in his body and the man fell to the ground, dead from his own blood snapping his neck. The woman then unlocked the door and unlocked the restraints on the now dead man whose name she had long forgotten. As she used her special technique to move his body without touching it, her mind went back to when she and the princess were making their way here. The spoilt girl had almost frozen and stopped walking, so she had to risk using her technique and hope for the moment that Azula wasn't suspicious about how she continued walking. The woman rose her arm as she walked upstairs and the lifeless body of her former captive followed her. She knew the forest well and took him to a cliffside and flung him over and the simply left. She wasn't worried about anyone discovering him. Even if they did, no one would know him as he had come to Hira'a as a stranger. He had no family or friends, so they would dismiss him as a lost soul who went into Forgetful Valley and never came out alive.

* * *

When she returned home, she quickly peeped into the guest bedroom to check Azula hadn't woken up when she left. No, she was fast asleep.

 _ _"Good"__ she thought before she walked into her bedroom. It was identical to the room Azula was sleeping in except on the bed side table was something other than a candle. There was a box. A dark green box that contained her most valuable possession. She opened it, but only to look inside, not to touch.

Inside the box was a whale tooth comb from her home in the Southern Water Tribe; something she was able to smuggle on to a fire navy ship until they confiscated it from her and made her dress in rags before locking her in a cage that prevented her and her water tribe brothers and sisters from using their gift of waterbending.

Until she had invented a special technique that allowed her to escape and reclaim her prized possession.

Bloodbending. Controlling the water in another body. Enforcing your own will over theirs.

But it came with a limitation; she could only use it during the full moon when her bending was at its most powerful. But after coming to Hira'a and discovering lost souls in Forgetful Valley that couldn't talk if they stayed in the forest _**_**permanently**_**_ , she was able to perfect her technique and was becoming better at using it without the full moon's aid, as tonight had proved with Princess Azula. Now, she would perfect it even more to exact her revenge on the Fire Nation.

 _ _"I will avenge you my fallen brothers and sisters of the Southern Water Tribe. It is my duty as the last Waterbender of our Tribe to ensure the Fire Nation pays for what it did to us."__ Hama thought as she closed the box.

* * *

 ** **So now you know who the old woman is... Hama. I am going to add her as a main character after maybe a week. I didn't at first because it would've spoilt the story.  
Noticed some errors in this chapter; I've corrected them.  
****


	3. Chapter 3

Today should've been a happy day for Zuko. After almost seven years of wondering and one of those years spent searching, he had finally found his mother Ursa, but it wasn't exactly a happy day. His other sister Azula, after discovering that their mother had been given a new face and a new identity as Noriko from the Mother of Faces, came to the house and had almost killed their mother right in front of him and her new husband and new daughter, their half sister Kiyi. Luckily, he had managed to save their mother in the nick of time and fight Azula off and talk her down. Or at least he thought he had until she firebended at him again and ran off into Forgetful Valley. Afterwards, the Mother of Faces had reconsidered helping out Misu and Rafa and also offered Ursa, then Noriko, her original face and memories. She accepted. After the spirit disappeared, mother and son saw and hugged each other for the first time in years.

* * *

 _Flashback:_

 _"Hold still." said The Mother of Faces as she brought her giant hands over Noriko's head. Zuko watched from behind as a bright light came from the inside of the spirit's hands, forcing him, Aang and Katara to look away. A woman's scream could be heard until the light began to fade and Zuko brought his arm down from eyes and watched as the spirit removed her hands from Noriko._

 _Zuko saw how the woman's hair grew longer and darkened. Then she began to collapse. Zuko rushed to her and caught her by the arms. He saw her face, the face he hadn't seen since he was a boy. Her tanned skin has become pale, her voice returned as she awoke and her eyes were no longer the soft brown colour to the soft amber colour people mistook as liquid gold.  
_

 _Noriko was gone. Ursa had returned. The look in her eyes showed she remembered her old life; her arranged marriage to Ozai, her two children, her life as a fire nation princess, all up to her banishment and when she asked the Mother of Faces to erase that life from her memory. The eyes Zuko hadn't seen were now fixed on him. It occurred to him she wouldn't recognise his face, but he recognised hers as he said "Mom?"_

 _"Zuko?" she said after so long. Once realisation hit, they pulled each other into a hug, finally together again._

* * *

Now, the moment had past and Zuko and Team Avatar were now inside his mother's new home. While Aang, Katara and Sokka were putting sheetrock on to the ceiling where Azula and Sokka had entered, Zuko's eyes were looking out a window and were fixed on the entrance to the forest, hoping to see Azula come back, especially as the weather began to worsen. Before she has vanished, he called out saying he wanted to help her and he meant it.

The whole time on their journey, they had fought and it had been almost impossible to handle Azula in her current state. But after seeing how Sokka and Katara still looked out for each other despite the witticism and snowball fights between them, he tried to be the brother that he didn't get to be and tried also to fix their relationship as he and Azula had never been able to reconcile like that after a fight. He wondered if it was still possible to fix their relationship despite its shattered beyond repair appearance.

A soft hand on his shoulder brought him out of his thoughts. He turned to see his mother looking at him, a smile was her face, but her eyes came off as worried. Not that Zuko blamed her; she now remembered not just everything she had forgotten as Ursa, but also remembered everything that happened in her life as Noriko. Her wedding day with Noren, the birth of their daughter Kiyi and also that Azula had almost killed her while admitting how she had never felt that Ursa loved her. As Ursa sat down across from Zuko, she said "Zuko. How are you?"

Zuko knew she was trying to hide her concern over Azula. Despite everything that had happened tonight, Azula was as much Ursa's child as Zuko and Kiyi were. And now, she was missing and she and Ursa hadn't properly seen each other. Ursa had seen her as Noriko, but didn't have the memories of being her mother and in a way, couldn't fully mean the apology she had given her eldest daughter. So many hidden truth and lies were about, so Zuko thought it best to fix that by answering his mother truthfully "It's getting colder outside. I'm worried for Azula to be out there."

"I'm sure she'll come back." Ursa said with hope in her voice, though her face showed uncertainty and discomfort at the mention of her first daughter's name. "She did after all find her way back here without any help."

Zuko wanted to believe his mother's words, but he knew she was lying so he would move away from the window and help repair the house. Despite being away and not seeing them grow up, Zuko knew what Ursa remembered of Azula; an intelligent child who could manipulate and deceive others and when she knew she was beaten like in Pai Sho matches against their uncle Iroh, she wouldn't return until she had a plan that wouldn't fail.

But how could he leave? What if Azula came back and she was still bent on killing their mother? For all they knew, she intended to run off as a plan B in case she felt out-numbered. She could return when they least expected it and... Zuko tried not to think about what she would do.

However, he recalled how Azula faced him without trying to wipe away her tears. He wasn't used to seeing her cry. Not even as a child apart from when she was a baby. She was always, out of the two of them, the sibling who always seemed certain and prepared for anything without fear. He didn't feel that if Azula did return, she would still be intent on killing their mother and taking the throne from him.

Not that she could now however; she had dropped the letter claiming Zuko to be the son of Ikem and not Ozai, but now wasn't the right time to bring this up. He could wait until tomorrow to talk to his mother about who his real father is. She was in a fragile state of mind at the moment and needed proper rest to talk about this.

"Zuko?" his mother's voice came again still sounding as quiet and as gentle as it was before her banishment. He looked again at her face that had only been altered by a few wrinkles under her eyes "Tell me what you're thinking."

Zuko felt torn; he didn't want to talk with his mother about all of this until tomorrow when his mind would be less tired, but he also didn't want to lie to her. Lie. What Azula would do. He had to say something, so he said "We should be out there looking for Azula. I hate not being able to do that."

Ursa looked down to the floor with uncertainty. Zuko could see she didn't know how to respond to that. He recalled how as a kid, he would always assume his mother or father knew everything since they were the adults. But he eventually learned that not even grown-ups know everything. He looked out the window again. Leaves were blowing rapidly by and he could see trees standing diagonally.

"Zuko." came a voice, but this time, it wasn't Ursa. Zuko turned and saw Katara in front of him "Can we talk?" she said gesturing her hand to where Aang and Sokka were standing in the living area. Zuko wasn't sure whether to leave Ursa until she looked at him and said "I'll watch for Azula."

Zuko then nodded with a small smile at Katara and then got up to follow her, leaving his mother alone with her thoughts.

As he and Katara joined Aang and Sokka, Zuko saw an open door leading into a small pink bedroom. In it was Noren sitting on a bed too small for him. " _He must be trying to put Kiyi to_ sleep" Zuko thought before turning to the group. Aang was the first to speak "How are you feeling Zuko?"

Zuko tried to hide his anger at Aang's question. After everything that had happened, he should be able to imagine how Zuko felt. "Azula ran off into Forgetful Valley. She hasn't returned and the wind outside is getting colder and stronger. She could get lost or even catch a cold."

"I don't think we'll need to worry too much about Azula." Aang replied. Zuko, Katara and Sokka all turned to face him with stern eyes. Aang began to stutter while shaking his hands with a nervous grin "I-I just meant that... she probably found somewhere in Forgetful Valley where she'll be safe for the night and maybe tomorrow, she'll come back more calmer in the mind."

Sokka wasn't convinced "Aang, I get you're the Avatar and it's kind of your job to be the neutral guy who sees the good in everyone. But _**COME ON.**_ This is **_Azula._** She's hurt so many people too many times including her own friends, her own family, **_YOU_** and tonight, she tried to kill her own mother. How can you think she'll come back after all she has done?"

Everyone was stunned at Sokka's summary of what Azula had done. Zuko, without talking, walked back to where his mother sat. The gaang saw his hands clenching into fists and opening up again as he walked away. He probably didn't want to get angry at this time of night. Katara then placed a hand on Aang's shoulder as she quietly spoke "Sweetie, I agree with Sokka; after everything Azula's done, she's not gonna come back tonight or probably ever. She could be heading to Hira'a Docks even now to escape us."

Aang looked down to the floor "I don't think so. I don't think she'll try to leave."

"And why is that?" Sokka asked unconvinced.

"Just look outside." Aang gestured to the wall they had fixed up "Wind that strong and cold in the dark of the night isn't safe and Azula knows that. I somehow know that she's find somewhere where she'll be safe for tonight."

"Okay" Sokka slowly said "then what's our next move?"

"As soon as the wind dies down, we'll begin searching for her." came Zuko's voice as he headed back to them while Ursa walked slowly to her bedroom, almost not looking away from the window. Once she was gone, he continued "I told her to go to bed while we take shifts through the night in case Azula comes back. It's not likely, but Azula could decide to come back to finish what she started and we need to be ready for her."

"Alright, I'll stay up first!" Sokka said eagerly taking out his boomerang and holding it high as if he were posing for a statue.

"Sokka, two things; one is that Azula could easily best you in a fight and two, you won't be able to stay awake for that long." Katara said knowing her brother's enthusiasm always seemed to get the better of him.

"Not true! Me and Mr. Boomerang took her down tonight!" Sokka argued.

"You hit her in the back of the head; it was luck that time, but next time, she'll expect anything." Katara argued back "I'll stay up first."

"Fine." Sokka said going over a blanket laid down on the floor. He gave a yawn as he lied down and said "Just wake me up when it's my turn to..."

A loud snore could then be heard coming from Sokka's mouth as he fell asleep instantly. Katara gave a smile knowing her brother's love of sleep was as strong as his love of meat. Aang and her shared a quick goodnight kiss before he rolled out a blanket next to Sokka and sat in a meditation position.

Katara then looked to Zuko, who like his mother, was looking out the window. Katara understood that despite everything, Azula was still family to them. She could never forgive her for striking down both Aang and Zuko in front of her with the intent of killing them, but it was different from the perspective of her brother and mother. She walked over to him. If he heard her, he didn't respond until she placed a hand on his right shoulder "Zuko."

He turned slowly to meet her eyes. He had a look she often never saw in him; worry. He probably did worry a lot, but masked it to avoid others talking about it. Though she couldn't offer much, Katara said "I promise I'll let you know if she comes back during the night... I'll wake you up first, now try to sleep."

Zuko nodded and walked quietly to the final blanket. It was blue. As he held it, he remembered...

* * *

 _"Do you have another one of those blankets?" Zuko asked Sokka._

 _"Sure. Here." The warrior said as he passed the Fire Lord a blue blanket rolled up in a cylinder shape. It felt soft and snug in his grip. Then again, it was a water tribe make, so it had to be like this in the North and South Poles._

 _"I need to go-" Sokka said. Zuko didn't want to hear the next word and politely said "Thanks for the blanket."_

 _As Sokka left, Zuko got up and turned to Azula. She was still shivering and murmuring in her sleep. He crouched down quietly just by her feet and carefully brought the blanket up from her knees to her shoulders and lightly tucked it in as best as he could so she wouldn't wake up and be as warm as possible._

* * *

As Zuko settled to sleep, he hoped that somehow, Azula was warm and safe tonight before closing his eyes.


	4. Chapter 4

Azula woke up. It was dark in the room. She sat up in the bed. After rubbing her eyes, she noticed her sleeve wasn't white. It was in fact royal red with yellow flame outlines. In fact, she was wearing her night robe. She then became more awake to find that she was in her old room at the Fire Nation Royal Palace. Everything was exactly how she last remembered it before setting off with her dum-dum brother and his miscreant friends to find Ursa. But how did she get here? Did Zuko find her in the forrest and sedate her? But if so, how did he get the drop on her and why is she only waking up now?

As she got out of bed to look around the room more, she heard giggling. Specifically, a woman's giggle. It was faint, so it must be in another room close by. She opened the door and saw all but one door open. A light was coming from the room. Azula slowly walked towards the room and then it hit her: that's was Zuko's bedroom.

"That is funny, isn't it Zuko?" came a woman's voice, one Azula froze to once hearing it as it had been taunting her in the asylum for a year.

" _Mother._ " Azula said under her breath with rage. And she was talking to Zuko. Then, Azula worked it out; that old lady drugged her soup because she knew it was her favourite because Ursa had told her that because they and Zuko and everyone were conspiring to destroy her. Azula quickly but softly walked on her toes so Ursa and Zuko wouldn't hear her and stopped at the side. She slowly moved her head to see in.

Inside was her mother in bed with a young boy, but Zuko was nowhere in the room. Ursa had a book with the title "The Ugly turtle-Duckling" and both of them were laughing. "The way they stick their bottom's up to go underwater is funny." Ursa said to the boy, who was smiling at the book while leaning his head on her left shoulder.

Azula then realised that was a memory. She was eight years old and was awoken from sleep because of her mother's laugh. She saw how she and her ten year old brother were happy together reading a baby book and it hit her at that young age her mother had stopped reading stories to her. In fact, her mother no longer came into her room to say goodnight. It was strange as Azula did remember telling her mother she didn't want stories and was a big girl who could tuck herself in bed, but seeing this hurt.

Azula recalled what happened next and fell in sync with the memory. She looked away from her mother and brother and slowly sat down as her mother finished the story.

"And the flock of birds said to the ugly turtle duckling "You were never a turtle duckling, but in fact an eel swan... and a rather beautiful one as well." And so the ugly turtle duckling was ugly no more. The End." Azula then heard a kiss sound. From Zuko or Ursa, she did not know. Tears began to flow down her face. She looked in again as Ursa got out of bed and tucked Zuko in. Again, this was what you did for a baby and not a ten year old. It was embarrassing. Yet it still hurt the princess to see her mother show all this love to her weak brother and show none to her.

"Sweet dreams Zuko." Ursa said while caressing his cheek and giving a warm motherly smile.

"Night night Mom." Zuko yawned as he drifted into sleep with a smile.

Azula scrunched her eyes at hearing how childish her older brother was. She got up and went back to her room and shut the door. She then sunk to her knees and placed her hands on her eyes and sobbed quietly. She had forgot about that memory and seeing it again had reopened all the pain she felt that night. It was the night she confirmed what she believed for a while but dare not say aloud.

Until Now.

"Mom doesn't love me." Azula said bringing her hands away and saw that they had shrunk. She stood up but still felt she were still on her knees. She touched her face and head and it felt smaller. _"I'm eight again"_ she thought and then a knock on the door jogged her memory. Ursa had heard Azula and knocked on the door to see if she were awake. Azula followed the memory and did what she did 9 years ago: got back into bed, hid her face with arm in case her mother came into the room to check she was indeed asleep. But all her mother did was open the door, say her daughter's name once from the door and then leave.

The door opened. Her voice was soft and distant as it said one word "Azula?" Azula didn't respond and thought about what she was thinking in that moment as a young girl. If her mother didn't love her, then fine! She didn't need her because unlike Zuko, she wasn't weak or dependent or an embarrassment to the family.

She began to close her eyes hoping that she would wake up when heard "Azula?" again. Her eyes widened. That wasn't how the memory went. She was supposed to hear the door close.

"Azula?" her mother's voice came a third time. Now Azula looked up, but no one was at the door. she began to settle back into bed when...

"Azula." Azula shock back up and away from Ursa, who was sat on the side of her bed near the pillows. This definitely didn't happen. Azula thought that anything could happen as she felt her face again. It was big again, so she must be her current age. Good. "What are you doing here?" Azula asked trying to wipe away the tears that had dried up in a line going down her cheeks.

"Azula, my daughter, you're so vulnerable and fragile right now. You don't see clearly." Ursa said. Azula saw the outfit she had on was not one of her nightgowns. It was in fact her royal attire. This was the Ursa who tormented her brain day in day out. Azula was fuming at the sight of her invading her dreams again.

"So you mentioned, what is so dangerous about an old lady? I could easily get away from her. In fact, I'm planning to tomorrow the first chance I get." Azula spoke the truth and wasn't ashamed. It was nice of an elderly stranger to give her food and a bed in a time of need, but the princess couldn't get too comfy and would leave maybe after breakfast. The woman was old, but she could still be conspiring with her mother or Zuko.

"NO!" came her mother's voice. Azula heard this voice whenever Ursa punished her as a child. She then reached out and grabbed Azula's shoulders and pulled her close, despite Azula's struggling against her mother's grip.

"Let go of me!" Azula said, but Ursa held on. Azula then shot a fireball at Ursa's arms, but the fire just went through as if she had missed. Azula then punched her fire everywhere and everything was caught on blue fire. The sheets, the bedpost, the curtains, walls, floor, everything but Ursa and herself were engulfed in her signature fire. Azula didn't understand how Ursa was doing this.

"WHAT TRICKERY IS THIS?! I DON'T HOW YOU'RE DOING IT, BUT I will put an end to this torment mother... BY ENDING YOU!"

But Ursa wasn't shook by her daughter's words. Instead, she said "Listen to me my daughter, the moment you wake up, leave that forrest! Find us! Come home! You have a destiny AND a beautiful one, but it is not the throne! You must leave that place as soon as you wake up!" Ursa said. Azula saw tears in her mother's eyes and her voice sounded desperate. but why? Why was she concerned? Unless...

"You want me to leave that old woman because she has something to help me end you." Azula said to her mother. The grip on her shoulders was gone. Ursa had released her. Now it made sense.

"The old woman is with you, but there's also something in her hut that can end your control over me." The Blue flames closed in around Ursa, who looked at them with fear.

"Yes, I'm right." Azula said with a smile as she stood up on the mattress, now towering over her mother. "And when I find it, I'll be free of you forever and I will return mother. I will return to you... and kill you. Right. In front. Of Zuzu."

The flames engulfed Ursa and began to burn away, but she didn't scream in pain, but instead rose and said to Azula "I'm not the one you need to be free from." The flames consumed her mother's body and then, the burnt flesh disintegrated into nothing.

Azula then looked around her room to see the walls were changing as the flames dies down. She was in a bedroom, but it wasn't her bedroom. It was instead a guest room with a king size bed. A loud knock came from the door and Azula then thought

"NO." was all she could get out as she recalled the memory she was in now and didn't want to face this one. She hid under the bed as the door opened and then...

A bright light blinded her briefly before she was no longer in the palace, but instead in the Fire Nation Capital. Only it was all burning with her blue fire. The buildings were reducing to ash, the grounds had fresh scorch marks and citizens were screaming and running. Then some began to make strange movements and scream even more. Then, blood came from their noses and Azula heard a cracking sound as their necks twisted and they dropped to the ground dead. She tried running but couldn't. Her legs refused to move. All she could do was look up to see the moon and hear a maniacal laughter come from a dark figure

"AH HA HA HA HA HEH HA HA HA! HA HEH HEH HEH HA HA HA HA!

* * *

"NO!" Azula screamed as she awoke. She gasped for air and quickly lit a fire ball in her palm and saw she was in the guest room in the old woman's hut. She relaxed once seeing she was only dreaming.

"I heard a scream." came a voice and Azula saw the elderly lady whose name she still did not know and didn't plan on knowing about to enter the room. She extinguished her flame before she entered. She was carrying a candle in one hand. She then asked "Are you okay?"

"Yes." Azula said looking down at her sheets as she settled back into bed "It was just a bad dream. I'll be fine now."

"Okay." the woman said before leaving.

* * *

 **the maniacal laughter is supposed to be Hama's laugh at the end of the puppetmaster episode fwi.**


End file.
